Author: christinaboundlessjoy

Pursue Joy

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“You haven’t smiled in months,” my mother tells me. I think she was right. There were a number of things wrong at the time.

I thought back to my freshman year of college, my first time living away from home. When I felt lonely, miserable, or like “blah” as I liked to call it, I called my mom. Her usual questions were, “Have you played the piano today? The guitar? Done anything musical? Why don’t you hang out with a friend?”

So, I would drag myself out of my dorm room, go to the dining hall, and inevitably run into friends. We’d talk and laugh, watch movies, or play ping-pong. Other times, I went to the music hall, played the piano for an hour or so, then went to the dining hall and met up with friends. These things brought me joy.

Years later, the same problem has returned, but its prolonged, “You haven’t smiled in months.”

Here are the remedies I have discovered:

Call a friend. In junior year of undergrad, going to the dining hall to run into friends didn’t work anymore. Most of them had apartments, and others were studying abroad. I had to schedule times to share a meal with my peers. Similarly, now my friends have different work schedules, family commitments, and live in different states. We’ve found it best to schedule a time to talk.

Play the piano. That’s a source of joy for me. Maybe yours is drawing, coding or gaming. If whatever it is has been neglected for a while, carve out some time and pick it up again. I got new music and started playing the piano more often. What can you do?

Be creative. That is part of how Boundless Joy was born, as a way to reignite my passion for creativity, to grow as a writer, work on a website, a little graphic design, and to plan something fun just for me.

Coming back to these sources of joy has also reignited my passion for them.

Life Lesson: Pursue joy!

**You may notice that I did not say “pursue happiness.” Happiness comes and goes, but joy lasts through life’s ups and downs.

It’s a Balance

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Work. Life. School. Family. Friends.

I’m definitely a work in progress in this area, but I will share what I have learned that helps me to have joy in this season of life.

A few months ago, I was really struggling to balance all of my commitments; to do them all, and to do them well. I focused so much of my energy on my full-time job, both on and off the clock, that I was too exhausted to do much else. I’m also in graduate school and was taking my hardest class yet, struggling to keep up with both work and school.

In the middle of this, I went to an online group for young adults and the speaker was talking about priorities. He said a few things that I decided to put into practice.

1) You always have time for what you do first. This makes perfect sense, but really think about it, what do you do first? Is it work, school, talking to friends, crafting a perfect Instagram photo and caption? That indicates your top priority.

2) If you try to give everything the same attention, you will always be putting out fires. It may sound like this: “Oh, no, I haven’t spent enough time with my family…Ugh, now I’m spending a lot of time with my family, but haven’t done any schoolwork…Finally caught up on schoolwork, and realizing I forgot about Jesus. Sorry Jesus, I’m coming back to You now.” And on it goes.

So, I made a list—

  1. God
  2. Schoolwork
  3. Ministry
  4. Work

—and started refocusing. (I usually had time for family and friends, but I struggled with the four areas listed above.)

If God is #1, that means He gets the best of my energy. The first thing I do when I wake up is spend time with Jesus—reading the Bible, praying, singing along with worship music, etc. He gets the best of my brain, so to speak.

If schoolwork is #2, that means it gets the next part of my energy. I used to “do my homework” after work and spending time with my family. By then it was more like reading myself to sleep. The past few weeks, I’ve started to do homework in the morning, before I get ready for work. Then, I am better focused and can study more efficiently.

Ministry is #3, that’s mainly my role with Young Adults at Times Square Church.

Then comes work as #4. Work is something that must get done, whether I am tired or not, and it’s never fully finished. Having work fourth on this list means that I can take care of those other priorities well and finish my work.

Those tips really helped me balance my commitments better. I hope it helps you, too.

Life Lesson: To better balance competing commitments, keep your priorities in order.

Shameless Plug: Times Square Church has a great young adults group (@tscya). If you are 18-29 years young, I highly recommend their group. You can sign up here. If you are 30-40, join this connect group run by some fun and amazing solid people. These are virtual groups, so you join from anywhere. Come, and don’t forget to say hello!

Learn and Remember, Part 1

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Lately, I have been challenged to remember what I learned while dating and apply it to other relationships. To help us both, here are some of those lessons.

Relax and have fun.

For those of us who tend to be task-oriented, focused, and intense, it can be difficult to relax and enjoy ourselves, even while doing something calming like taking a walk in a park or eating a great dinner. Being this intense all the time can drain you and the people you are spending time with. Remember to take a deep breath, relax and enjoy the moment.

Be honest and up front, communicate openly.

Once, my sister and I ordered some burgers for takeout. Because of a recent bad experience, she wanted to make sure both burgers were cooked all the way through, which required cutting both burgers in half. Though I had been looking forward to the experience of eating a full, round burger, I didn’t say anything. I cut my burger in half…and had a serious attitude eating my sliced burger. The whole thing took the joy out of our outing.

Instead, I should have told her that I did not want to cut my burger in half, and was willing to risk it not being done to enjoy the burger properly. Turns out the burger was cooked well-done, and it would have been perfect had I articulated what I truly wanted.

Communicate your thoughts, feelings and concerns. We can’t move past issues if we are unaware of them or don’t talk about them, and talking about them helps us avoid bitterness.

Run to Jesus first.

No matter what happens or who comes into your life, Jesus is the most important person. There were times when something big happened and I wanted to take the problem to my boyfriend first, then my family, and other friends, and Jesus got pushed down the list. But when I sought God’s help first, everything else fell into place.

Seek Jesus, serve Him, follow Him, and He will certainly guide through this journey called life.

Life Lesson: Learn from your experiences. Relax, communicate, and run to Jesus first.

Bible Memorization is Still Possible

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I used to hear stories of people who have memorized whole books of the Bible and think, How on earth is that possible?

I started memorizing scriptures as a weapon against sadness and loneliness. So far, I have memorized several chapters in Psalms. Realizing God’s characteristics and qualities shifted my perspective on the world and gave me joy, hope, and peace.

Tips for Bible Memorization

  • Study the verse. Things stick better after you have studied them. For each Bible verse I memorize, I also read the cross-references—not just the individual verses, but the whole paragraph or chapter around the cross-reference. Then I write down what I learned from that particular verse.
  • Memorize the verse. People memorize things differently. I write the verse over and over in cursive. Saying the verse out loud while I write also helps me commit it to memory.
  • Meditate on the verse. There is a verse that says “May the words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14). After I finish studying and memorizing, I try to think about the verse throughout the day. Whenever I felt sad or lonely, I would recite my newly memorized verse. This helped me to remember it better and most importantly, it refreshed my soul.

Life Lesson: Memorizing Bible verses is possible and it’s life-giving.

Friends – There for a Reason

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I didn’t realize how much I needed my old friends, and how much they needed me.

The close friends I made in undergrad, living on campus for 3.5 years, physically spread out right after graduation. A few went overseas. I had one go to China, another to Australia, another to the Middle East. Others moved to other states—Maryland, Alaska, Connecticut.

We did not keep up very well. I talked to one every five months or so. It was pretty bad.

Around the same time that the coronavirus broke loose in the US, I realized that I needed more friends, and began reaching out to some of those friends from college. Turns out we really needed each other. I remember one particularly lonely day. I called my old roommate, and we talked for five hours—‘twas a fantastic conversation.

Over the summer, I met up with another friend once who I hadn’t talked to in at least two years. When we met up, we realized we had gone through similar experiences, and were able to swap stories and tips. We became devotional accountability partners, which has helped us both.

Life can be tough, and we need our friends to laugh with us, listen to us vent, talk with us for hours, remind us that we are loved, and tell us how great we are. I thank God that He has answered my prayer for friends. In reaching out to the old friends, I realized I have more than I realized, and by His grace I am keeping up with them more often than ever, and am better for it. Praise God for my friends!

Life Lesson: Keep up with your friends. You need them, and they need you.